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Güneş, akşamüstü intihar etti.
İçimde büyüttüğüm kız çocuğunun elini tutup benden uzaklaşmaya başladığında, uzun boyu kadar derin bir kuyunun önünde durmuş, kuyunun dibinde ölmüş güneşin sönmüş cesedini izliyordum.
Beklediği kişi gelmediğinden ölemeyen o insandım; ölüm döşeği yaşadıklarımdı.
Suya düşen yansımama bakıyordum.
Boğuluyordum, ölmek nedir bilmiyordum.
Yanıyordum, sönmek nedir bilmiyordum.
Diniyordum, bitmek nedir bilmiyordum.
Ne kadar kesilmem gerekiyorsa tam sırasıydı, kesileyim diyordum ve bir makas usulca kesmeye başlıyordu zamanı.
Zamanın damarındaydım.
Zaman ile birlikte kesiliyordum.
Zaman ile birlikte kanıyordum.
Elini tuttuğu küçüklüğümle dönüp o siyah gözleriyle bana baktı.
Ve acıların bile kurutamadığı damarlarımı, o kasım gecesi ekmek bezine sarılan bebeğin siyah gözlerinde gördüklerim kurutmaya başladı.
Görüyordum.

Neyt benim kalbimi taşıyan damardı,
Nabzımdan canıma fısıldıyordu.
“Damar yolumsun.”

Ürün Adı: Neyt – Asi Çakıltaşı 3
Ürün Kodu: 9786052050484
Yazar: Binnur Şafak Nigiz
Basım Yılı: 2020
Kapak Türü: Karton Kapak
Sayfa Sayısı: 752
Kağıt Cinsi: Kitap Kağıdı
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